Not really much to blog about since the meltdown of the century... But I guess I'll give it a shot.

Today I got e-mails from both of my teachers telling me that class was canceled for the day so I lied in bed until about 10:30 and when I went to the kitchen there was a stack of blueberry pancakes, a plate of bacon, sunnyside up eggs and a pitcher of orange juice with a huge sign that said, "Für alle!" on it. So I had breakfast and then went to the city and some guy handed me some kind of scratcher coupon. I used the only one cent coin I had in my wallet and to my surprise, I won a free massage at some spa. He told me I could go immediately so I went and experienced two hours of pure, relaxed bliss. Then I walked to some part of the city that I wasn't too familiar with and came across an arcade. WITH TIME CRISIS! I put my two euro coin in the change machine and got five euros worth of 20 cent pieces! So I kicked ass at Time Crisis for about an hour and then Amos called me and we met up at the Gänseliesel. He treated me to an awesome dinner at this Steakhouse and then we came home and made mad passionate love for two hours. Now I'm in front of my computer smoking a cigarette and totally enjoying life.

Alright, here's what really happened:
The weather was total crap today. Raining cats and dogs for a good portion of the morning and afternoon. I wanted to go to the library but was too scared to go outside so I decided to stay in til my class at 4pm and clean. I ended up getting distracted and read online gossip. Then I went to Amos' and he told me that he's getting operated on next week which means no booty for 2+ weeks. Later I went to class and sat through an hour and a half of boring. After that class I went to grammar where I got back the test I took on Wednesday. I got a 65. The guy next to me, who I consider to be smarter than me, also got a 65 so I don't feel that bad. At least I got the same score as the guy smarter than me. But this would probably make me equally as smart as him. Then I came home and cooked ramen like noodles. As soon as I was done cooking it, Amos charged into my kitchen begging me for a cigarette. His mom called him and reminded him of all the crap he went through last year with his surgery so he started having a freakout. Thanks a lot, Mrs. Groth. I really have to lay down the law with him. Only one episode per month between the two of us, dammit. Now here I am not smoking a cigarette because Dr. Fleckenstein told me to stop smoking but I'm still enjoying life because I'm not crazy!

I am crazy. No joke. I'm talking about the full-blown, lock me up in a looney bin crazy. Well, I'm not so crazy now but earlier today I considered writing a letter to Dr. Phil about my problems. SEE! I AM crazy. I LOATHE Dr. Phil but there I was with pen and paper in hand ready to dispense all of my problems to him and eagerly await for an invitation to be on his show so that all of America could see just how crazy I really am.

I was bawling all the live long day. Then Amos came over and I cried even more tears. Enough to fill the seven seas. I was HYSTERICAL. Why? I really don't know. Everyone knows I'm a hardcore gangster and only cry when absolutely necessary. Today's waterworks, however, were TOTALLY unwarranted. I was an emotional trainwreck and unfortunately Amos had to witness the peak of my breakdown. Poor guy has a nutcase for a girlfriend.

I'm not one to point fingers (okay, I am) but I think it's the depo provera. One of the side effects listed is moodiness and depression. For the most part, I consider myself to be a chill, laid back person but lately I've been short tempered and unconsciously starting fights with Amos. What frustrates me the most is that I know that I'm not normally like this. I know using the birth control as an excuse can be seen as a cop out but I swear I'm not this neurotic.

Anyway, Amos calmed me down and later I talked to Kate who also helped me come back down to earth. I am very glad to be once again among the normal ranks of society. If this happens to me again and you happen to be present, you have my permission to give me a good slap in the face.

Talking about the future scares me. Mainly because I can't even decide what I'm going to do tomorrow.

When I was learning Spanish in high school, I used to watch telenovelas. The awesome thing about telenovelas is that you know exactly what's going on even if you don't quite catch all of the dialogue since the acting is so dramatic. Unlike soap operas in the U.S., telenovelas actually end so they don't feel as repetitive and cyclical. Some of the novelas I watched on a nightly basis included Primer Amor and Los Teens. My favorite one of all though was Yo soy Betty, la fea (I am Betty, the ugly). It's about a not so attractive but extremely intelligent woman named Beatriz Pinzón Solano who works for a fashion company and is constantly scrutinized for her looks by her co-workers. Eventually her fashion ideas get recognized, she gets a makeover and starts fucking the boss. In the beginning it was sort of like a drama but then it took a comedic turn which was definitely 10x better. There's even a cartoon!



Betty la fea was filmed in Colombia and aside from being very popular in Latin America and the U.S., it became a worldwide success airing in the Philippines, Hungary, the Czech Repulic, Israel and China! India, Mexico, Russia, the Netherlands and Greece also have their own versions of Betty la fea. Even Germany has one! It's called Verliebt in Berlin. I always see it at the video store but I never knew what it was about but now I wanna check it out.


India's version


The Netherlands' version


Russia's version
Why am I plugging this telenovela that's already over? This fall ABC is premiering Betty the Ugly starring America Ferrera and I am VERY excited. Fridays at 8pm. Check it out!

Yes, I am aware that Amos makes me look like a sista. Every day I encourage taking walks or lying out in the sun. Trying to even out our skintones is by far a lot more work for me than him. He just has to take off his shirt and lie there. I, on the otherhand, have to layer on the sunblock, strap on the visor and put on bug sunglasses. All these "Get Amos Darker" missions have only proven to be disappointing- he only gets red. =/ Not only that, but despite all my efforts to evade the sun, I'm the one getting darker! The gap is only growing larger...

Unfortunately, he is against tanning salons and hates lotion for Lord knows why. Until I find some other way to get him tanner, I'm gonna keep pushing for him to lie in the damn tanning bed. I mean really, what's more important to him? His chances of getting skin cancer in the future or our public appearance?

This is kind of a gross story. Well, not really. It just involves my period. You have been forewarned. Don't leave comments like, "Ugh Janelle, you are disgusting!" or I will be forced to throw a glass bottle with all of its contents still in there directly at your face. Anyway...

This morning I wasn't sure if I was still on my period and on my way out of my room to the bathroom, I unconsciously grabbed my crotch. (How that would tell me if I was still on it or not I'm not quite sure.) Then out of nowhere, I hear a loud, vibrant, "HI!" from Benny, the new guy with pencil legs, who is also Kevin's (the guy who brings his textbooks with him to the bathroom for long anticipated stays on the can) best friend. Benny obviously saw me grab my southern regions which prompted him to have a smirk on his face after his jubilant greeting. I brushed it off and continued to embark on the adventures and misadventures of my everyday life. Unfortunately, Benny played quite a role in my misadventures. I kept running into him at various points throughout the day. He still had that damn smirk too. If only he knew I was doing it to see if mother flow got the hell out of dodge or not.

I really hope this doesn't tarnish my image on the floor as the American girl who doesn't say shit to anyone besides, "Hallo", "Tschuess" and an occasional, "Darf ich kurz?" when someone is standing in the way of me getting something in the cabinets. Now I feel compelled to do something else in front of Benny to erase the previous vivid memory he has of me which I am sure replays in his head every five minutes or so. But what beats seeing your neighbor grab their crotch in plain sight early in the morning? Suggestions are strongly encouraged and appreciated. Please help me save face for the rest of my two and a half months left here.

Amos and I went bowling where I SCHOOLED him. ;o) In an effort to help him save face, here is only a portion of our scoresheet.

Amos in action

Why are we so pretty?

First and foremost, Happy Cinco de Mayo! =)

Lately I've been feeling a little under the weather which is pretty ironic since the actual weather has improved drastically. I didn't think I'd ever see the day that Goettingen would reach the 70's. I had a talk with my mom this morning and I feel a lot better. I'm looking forward to going home. I just have to get through these classes which won't be so bad because I'm only taking one real class in German.

Here is a comprehensive list of the things I plan on doing within the first two weeks of my arrival to California:

1. Eat a carne asada burrito and drink horchata
2. Eat pho
3. Eat pad thai
4. Eat thai fried rice
5. Eat In-N-Out
6. Eat dim sum
7. Eat borscht from Amy's restaurant
8. Eat as much of my mom's cooking as humanly possible
9. Go to a baseball game
10. Go to the batting cages
11. Play Time Crisis
12. Go bowling with my bowling ball that was specially drilled by one Gerold Nunes
13. Drive up to Twin Peaks
14. Walk along Haight St.
15. Walk around downtown
16. Walk along Mission St. and not get jumped. haha
    
17. Play raquetball
18. Have a welcome back/birthday party thrown by yours truly since my mom is too lazy to plan
    
19. Ride my neglected bike of almost three years
20. Hang out with friends and family

*Note that the first eight begin with the word "eat".

Everyone seems to remember this episode.

Thanks Kate for making me spend half an hour making this damn doll

You can click on this charming beauty to take moments of your life away that you'll never get back as well.

In Germany, the first of May is very important and they have a tradition of dancing into May. A lot of bars and clubs are open to accommodate to this said tradition. Last night we went to Thanners where the music wasn't very loud and certainly not very dance-y. We had fun though nonetheless. Seeing Lasse piss ass drunk asking questions about Amos right in front of his face and saying, "Was machst du hier?!?", incessantly asking Dennis if he wanted to have lunch with me on Thursday, Kate's faithfulness being tested by Lasse via handholding, etc. Here is a photo of Kate and I "dancing" into May. Of course, you can't even tell we're dancing because Amos "Ansel Adams" Groth can't take a picture if his life depended on it. The first time he took the picture, he pressed the power button and when he said three, the shutter turned off and Kate and I were like, "WTF?" Oh Männer und Technik...

Happy May everyone! Hopefully the rain is a thing of the past and we only have sunny skies to look forward to.