Oh Gott

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH:

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.
2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.
4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.
5. AT 3AM “LET’S GO EAT” IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET ME OUT OF THE CLUB.
6. I START CRYING & TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH.
7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED & JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
8. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH KNOWS ALL THE GIRLS I DON‘T LIKE.
9. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.
10. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.
11. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
12. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.
13. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR
14. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."
15. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT.
16. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.
17. I'M SO TIRED THAT I’LL JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR OR WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING.
18. ALL OF A SUDDEN I KNOW THE LYRICS TO ALL RAP SONGS
19. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S “THEIR” FAULT THAT I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.
20. GETTING HAPPY BECAUSE I JUST REALIZED I TOOK DRUNKEN PICTURES OF EVERYONE!