My mom is really deadset on me having kids.
Mom: Janelle I don't care if you don't get married. I just want you to have kids.
Janelle: You don't mind bastard children? Like Miranda's mercy fuck on Sex and the City but unlike the show, I don't end up with Steve. What if your future grandchildren were courtesy of our local sperm bank?
Mom: Janelle I don't care if you don't get married. I just want you to have kids.

Janelle: Today I dropped Herbert (my computer) and I almost cried. That's my baby.
Mom: You call that your baby but you don't want kids?
Janelle: Why have kids when you have a computer?

Mark told me I didn't have a heart of gold.
Janelle: What have I done to you besides shower you with love and affection?
Mark: You told Jackie to strip me of my clothes while I was sleeping and to put them in the freezer.
Janelle: Well, BESIDES that.

A few days ago I told Cindy I wasn't in a pie making mood
Cindy: It's not about the pies. It's about US.

Peter and I were discussing the difference between Taco Bell and siblings
Janelle: They're practically the same thing.
Peter: Yeah, you're right. Sometimes, I call my sister Taco Bell.