Proof that the world is against me

1. Fear Factor is not a part of German television
2. My favorite Ritter Sport flavor was not at Pennymarkt
3. My bike lock is frozen
4. The balls on my banana eyebrow ring are too big
5. and the actual ring I have makes me look butch
6. Habo, my history teacher, has not e-mailed me back yet, thus making me procrastinate more
   
7. I haven't gotten any action since last year
   
8. I can't take a decent nap anymore
9. My neighbor and his girlfriend had sex in the shower stall next to mine at 11am (I was there first, too)